Jinbao Marries a Wife

**One Hundred Husband Questions – The Loveliest of All!**

**Interviewer: Lao Qian**

**1. What’s your name?**

Que Siming: Yue Siming.

Jinbao: My name is Wang Erhu.

Lao Qian: Wait, that doesn’t seem right. What is it exactly?

Que Siming: I’ve taken my master’s surname, Que, now. Originally, I changed it to sound similar but use different characters to avoid being hunted by the court.

Jinbao: My birth name really is Wang Erhu. Jinbao was a name given to me when I was sold to the Jin household by the master.

**2. Your gender?**

Que Siming glances sideways.

Jinbao: Can’t you see for yourself?

**3. What’s your personality like?**

Que Siming: Handsome, dashing, a perfect gentleman, and a master of both literature and martial arts.

Lao Qian: == I meant personality.

Jinbao: I think a person should be honest, trustworthy, and kind at heart.

**4. How would you describe the other person’s personality?**

Que Siming: Dumb as a rock.

Jinbao: What did you just say?! You may be clever, but sometimes you’re morally crooked…

Que Siming: How am I crooked? Is your butt itching for trouble?

Lao Qian: We’re still a long way from the explicit questions, so calm down.

**5. When and where did you two first meet?**

Que Siming: I was five years old, back at my family home in Huaixi. He crawled into my estate through a dog hole.

Jinbao: Yeah, as soon as I poked my head through, he was waiting there to knock me out cold.

Que Siming, surprised: You still remember that?

Jinbao: How could I forget you hitting me with a stick?

**6. How did you get to know each other?**

Que Siming: I was bored, so I kept him around to play with me.

Jinbao: Well, that’s how we got to know each other…

**7. What was your first impression of each other?**

Que Siming: Filthy.

Jinbao: … Like a little fairy.

**8. What do you like most about the other person?**

Que Siming: Tasty.

Jinbao blushes: It’s hard to say…

Que Siming: What’s so hard about it? I’ve got so many praiseworthy qualities—just pick a few!

Jinbao continues blushing: R-really, it’s hard to put into words…

Que Siming smirks: Let me answer for him—he likes my nightly enthusiasm and my gallant prowess in bed…

Jinbao glares: Get lost!

**9. What do you dislike most about the other person?**

Que Siming: He’s a bit too stubborn.

Jinbao: He’s unreasonable, or when he is right, he won’t let it go. Sharp-tongued and hard to get along with.

Que Siming: Oh, you’re really pushing it now.

Jinbao: I’m just telling the truth.

**10. Do you think you two are compatible?**

Que Siming: Hell no. He never compliments me.

Jinbao: Well… we manage.

**11. What do you call each other?**

Que Siming: Little Tiger.

Jinbao: Que Siming.

Lao Qian: That’s not very passionate, is it?

**12. What do you wish the other would call you?**

Que Siming: Husband, sweetheart, darling.

Jinbao: Just call me Little Tiger.

**13. If the other person were an animal, what kind of animal would they be?**

Que Siming: A little dog—dumb, clumsy, and easy to please.

Jinbao: A vicious, sinister beast, like a wolf.

**14. What would you give the other person as a gift?**

Que Siming: I wouldn’t bother—keeping him well-fed down there is better than any gift.

Jinbao: Screw you.

Lao Qian: Ahem, let’s stay civil.

Jinbao: He doesn’t need any gifts. Dealing with his endless demands every day is already enough work.

**15. What would you like to receive as a gift from the other person?**

Que Siming: It’d be nice if he could be a little wilder.

Jinbao: Just let me rest for a few days.

**16. Are you dissatisfied with the other person? How so?**

Que Siming: He’s becoming more disobedient.

Jinbao: He’s a bit clingy, which can be annoying.

**17. What’s your hobby?**

Que Siming: Him.

Jinbao: Recently, I’ve found fishing to be quite fun.

**18. What’s the other person’s hobby?**

Que Siming: He likes to buy cheap, useless stuff. Small-minded and meddlesome.

Jinbao: His hobby is tormenting others.

**19. What’s your biggest flaw?**

Que Siming: I’m just strict with myself and others.

Jinbao: … I wish I were smarter.

**20. What do you hate most about what the other person does?**

Que Siming: Saying “no”—“no,” “I can’t,” “I won’t,” “I don’t want to.” It gets on my nerves.

Jinbao: When he just won’t stop once he starts.

**21. What would make the other person angry?**

Que Siming: The usual stuff married couples do. Why get mad over that? Seriously.

Jinbao: I just want to sleep, but he won’t let me.

**22. What’s the current status of your relationship?**

Que Siming: We’ve had a wedding. What do you think?

Jinbao: Yeah, we… we’re married.

**23. Where was your first date?**

Que Siming & Jinbao: A date? What’s that?

Lao Qian: (crying internally) Yet another non-starter question…
**24. What was the atmosphere like at the time?**

Que Siming: There’s always tension between us.

Jinbao: I agree with that.

**25. How far had things progressed at that point?**

Que Siming frowns: What kind of question is this? Skip it.

Jinbao, looking confused: I don’t get it either.

**26. Where do you usually go on dates?**

Que Siming looks like he’s about to explode.

Jinbao grabs his sleeve: Don’t get angry over everything.

**27. What do you do for the other person’s birthday?**

Que Siming: I don’t even know when your birthday is. What do you want to do?

Jinbao: I don’t know either… Maybe just cook a few extra dishes?

Que Siming: How boring. Why don’t we do it on the roof?

Jinbao: Go to hell.

Que Siming: How about on my birthday then?

Jinbao: Screw off!

**28. Who confessed their love first?**

Que Siming: He did.

Jinbao blushes: When we were kids, I think I was the first to say it.

**29. How much do you like the other person?**

Que Siming glares: Who do you think you are, asking me this? Lao Qian starts sobbing again.

Jinbao’s face turns redder.

**30. Do you deeply love the other person?**

Que Siming snorts, turns his head away arrogantly.

Jinbao’s face could drip blood as he lowers his head in embarrassment.

**31. What are you most afraid of the other person saying?**

Que Siming: I’m not afraid of anything he says.

Jinbao: Not… enough…

**32. What would you do if you suspected the other person of cheating?**

Que Siming’s eyes widen: He wouldn’t dare. I’d castrate him.

Jinbao: I wouldn’t let it go either. I’d beat him to death.

**33. Could you forgive the other person for cheating?**

Que Siming: I’d castrate him.

Jinbao: No way.

**34. If the other person was an hour late for a date, what would you do?**

Skipped.

**35. What’s your favorite part of the other person’s body?**

Que Siming: Everywhere, but especially down there…

Jinbao covers his mouth: His eyes, his eyes!

**36. What makes the other person sexy?**

Que Siming: He doesn’t even have to do anything, and he still drives me wild.

Jinbao: He’s really good-looking.

**37. When does your heart race because of the other person?**

Que Siming: When he takes the initiative.

Jinbao: When he’s being gentle.

**38. Would you lie to the other person? Are you good at lying?**

Que Siming: Why would I lie to him?

Jinbao glares: You’ve lied plenty of times—hardly anything that comes out of your mouth is true. I wouldn’t lie.

**39. When do you feel happiest together?**

Que Siming: When we’re doing *that*.

Jinbao, blushing: Just seeing him is enough.

**40. Have you two ever argued?**

Que Siming: Almost every day.

Jinbao: Yeah, we argue almost every day, and every few days we end up fighting. Our personalities don’t really match.

**41. What do you argue about?**

Que Siming: He gets upset over every little thing, constantly picking fights.

Jinbao: Is that me picking fights? I ask you not to make things difficult for the servants, not to test medicine on people, not to bully kids, and not to keep me up all night. You’re clearly in the wrong—I can’t just stand by and let you do the wrong thing.

Que Siming, unimpressed: You’re always meddling.

**42. How do you make up after a fight?**

Que Siming: We sleep it off.

Jinbao, blushing: That’s true. I can’t really do anything with this scoundrel.

**43. Would you want to be lovers in the next life too?**

Que Siming: Forget it. I’ve had enough of him in this life—I’ve been stifled long enough.

Jinbao: If the next life is this exhausting, I’d rather not be reincarnated at all.
**44. When do you feel loved?**

Que Siming: He actually cares a lot about me… even when he’s angry, he still comes back to me.

Jinbao: He’s always protecting me, even though he doesn’t say it out loud.

**45. When do you feel like the other person might not love you anymore?**

Que Siming: I won’t give him that chance.

Jinbao: Maybe if he didn’t cling to me every day…

**46. How do you express your love?**

Que Siming: By making him feel like he’s in heaven and hell at the same time.

Jinbao: You jerk! Can’t you stop being so vulgar when you talk?

Que Siming, dismissively: That’s just how I am. What about you? How do you show your love? Because I sure don’t feel it.

Jinbao: I—I’m always trying to fix your twisted personality!

**47. What kind of flower suits the other person?**

Que Siming: I’m not interested in that girly stuff.

Jinbao scratches his head: I don’t know much about flowers, but I’d say a peony—it’s both vibrant and beautiful.

**48. Is there anything you’re hiding from each other?**

Que Siming: If it’s a secret, why would I tell you?

Jinbao: Nope, he can always figure it out anyway.

**49. Is your relationship public or secret?**

Que Siming: Everyone knows.

Jinbao: Everyone knows.

**50. Do you believe your love will last forever?**

Que Siming: At least in this lifetime, I’m not letting him go.

Jinbao: I’ll take responsibility for him until the end.

—

**Now, onto the explicit questions, in true Lao Qian fashion. Please make sure no one is watching.**

**51. Are you the top or the bottom?**

Que Siming: Obviously, I’m on top.

Jinbao pouts in silence.

**52. How was that decided?**

Que Siming: He can’t beat me in a fight.

Jinbao: That’s just how it started… I didn’t want it at first, but I couldn’t overpower him.

**53. Are you satisfied with this arrangement?**

Que Siming: Very satisfied.

Jinbao: Well, since it’s how things are now, and we both agreed, I guess I’m okay with it.

**54. Where did it happen for the first time?**

Que Siming: Dali.

Jinbao: In Dali, at the Su family estate, in his room.

**55. What were your thoughts at the time?**

Que Siming: It was amazing, especially when he started crying.

Jinbao: It hurt, I didn’t want it, and I wanted to bite him to death.

Lao Qian whispers: Isn’t that basically rape?

Que Siming glares: What did you just say?

**56. How was the other person during that time?**

Que Siming: He wasn’t too willing at first, but in the end, he still came.

Jinbao: Like a ghost, a pervert, terrifying.

**57. What was the first thing said the morning after the first night?**

Que Siming: When I got back the next day, he had already run off.

Jinbao: I ran away.

**58. How many times a week do you do it?**

Que Siming: As long as he doesn’t put up too much resistance, we do it almost every day.

Jinbao: How could I not resist?!

**59. What’s your ideal number of times per week?**

Que Siming: Ideally, every day.

Jinbao: I think twice, maybe three times at most.

**60. What kind of “H” is it?**

Que Siming: What do you mean?

Lao Qian: You know, *that* kind of thing.

Que Siming: Oh, with him, I can forget everything else.

Jinbao: I’m usually out of it, barely conscious.

**61. Where are you most sensitive?**

Que Siming: Anywhere he touches becomes sensitive.

Jinbao: I’m not really sure… but he seems to know where to touch.

**62. Where is the other person most sensitive?**

Que Siming: His neck, inner thighs, waist.

Jinbao: When I kiss him, he gets really excited, so it must be his mouth.

Que Siming: I get excited because you rarely take the initiative.

Jinbao: Oh…

Que Siming: Can’t you say something more than “oh”? Like, “I’ll take the initiative more often from now on”?

Jinbao: If I take the initiative, you’d torment me all night long. No way!

**63. What do you want to say about the other person during “H”?**

Que Siming: His moaning sounds great. He doesn’t need to hold it in anymore.

Jinbao: I like seeing your face during that time…

**64. Do you like “H” or dislike it?**

Que Siming: Of course, I like it.

Jinbao: I… like it…

**65. When do you feel the urge for “H”?**

Que Siming: Anytime.

Jinbao: When the mood strikes, it just happens naturally.

**66. Is there a place you want to try “H”?**

Que Siming: On the roof, in a tree, and I want to try it on horseback again.

Jinbao: I really like the back mountain of the Medicine Valley.

**67. Do you shower before or after “H”?**

Que Siming: Both, or sometimes we shower while doing it.

Jinbao: It’s usually both, and he helps me clean up afterward.

**68. Do you agree on anything before “H”?**

Que Siming: He usually bargains with me over how many times.

Jinbao: And he always breaks his promises.

**69. Have you ever done it with anyone other than each other?**

Que Siming: I have in the past.

Jinbao: No.

Que Siming, sneering: Otherwise, I would’ve already chopped off Lou Jingyu’s hands.

**70. How do you feel about “No feelings necessary, just physical”?**

Que Siming: If he didn’t like me, I’d lock him up and keep doing it anyway. There’s no way he’s leaving me.

Jinbao: That’s something only beasts would do!

Que Siming: Then you’re being done by a beast!

Jinbao, furious, stands up to leave, but Que Siming pulls him into his lap, holding him tightly. “Alright, alright. I was just kidding. You were born to keep me in check.”

**71. What would you do if the other person was raped?**

Que Siming, face darkening: I’d chop the guy into pieces.

Jinbao: I’d get revenge for him.

**72. Are you more embarrassed before or after “H”?**

Que Siming: He’s my wife. Why would I be embarrassed?

Jinbao: He often does really vulgar things, which are pretty embarrassing.

**73. If a friend said, “Just for tonight, I’m lonely,” and asked for sex, what would you do?**

Que Siming: I don’t have friends like that.

Jinbao: He basically has no friends, and I don’t have friends like that either.

Que Siming: What about Lou Jingyu?

Jinbao, speechless: I wouldn’t agree to it, even with him.

**74. How do you rate your skills?**

Que Siming: He’s always moaning and screaming, and he can even come just from me doing the back. You tell me how good I am.

Jinbao glares: Haven’t you said enough already?!

**75. How are the other person’s skills?**

Que Siming: He doesn’t really have any skills, but as long as he spreads his legs and moans, that’s enough.

Jinbao, face flushed, glares hard at him.

**76. What do you most want the other person to say during “H”?**

Que Siming: Whatever I want him to say, he won’t say.

Jinbao: I just want him to say, “It’s over,” but it’s always a lie.

**77. What expression do you most like to see on the other person during “H”?**

Que Siming: His crying and begging face.

Jinbao: His expression when he’s being gentle and kissing me.

**78. Is it okay to have sex with someone other than your lover?**

Que Siming: I used to have people specifically for that, but I didn’t touch just anyone because it’s dirty. Now that I have him, I definitely wouldn’t touch anyone else.

Jinbao: No, you should stay faithful.

**79. Are you interested in BDSM or similar things?**

Que Siming: What’s that?

Lao Qian, wincing: Let me answer for them. Actually, they’ve always had a bit of a BDSM dynamic. One’s an S, the other’s an M—a perfect match.

**80. What if the other person suddenly didn’t want your body anymore?**

Que Siming: As long as I want his, that’s enough.

Jinbao: That day will probably only come when he’s old or really doesn’t want me anymore.

**81. What are your thoughts on rape?**

Que Siming raises an eyebrow: Skip this.

Lao Qian: Yes, sir…

**82. What’s the most exhausting thing about “H”?**

Que Siming: Convincing him to keep going.

Jinbao: Begging him to stop.

**83. Where’s the most thrilling or exciting place you’ve had “H” so far?**

Que Siming: Every time is exciting, but thrilling? Little Tiger, we haven’t had enough of those experiences yet, have we?

Jinbao: Get lost!

**84. Has the bottom ever initiated?**

Que Siming: Almost never.

**85. How does the top react when the bottom initiates?**

Que Siming: Whether he initiates or not, I always get excited.

**86. Has the top ever forced it on the bottom?**

Que Siming: I said to skip this! Are you deaf?

Jinbao: The first time was, you scumbag.

Que Siming: Who told you to piss me off, forgetting all about me and even flirting with women!

Jinbao: It wasn’t intentional, and I wasn’t flirting with her. But no matter what, you shouldn’t have forced it!

Que Siming, shrugging nonchalantly: What are you going to do about it?

Jinbao grits his teeth in frustration.

**87. How did the bottom react at that time?**

Lao Qian, trembling under Que Siming’s glare, skips the question tearfully.

**88. Do you have an ideal type for a sexual partner?**

Que Siming: Someone just like him.

Jinbao: I originally thought it would be a gentle girl.

**89. Does the other person meet your ideal?**

Que Siming: Yes.

Jinbao: There’s a bit of a gap, but… but it’s fine as it is.

**90. Do you use any props during “H”?**

Que Siming: I’m working on it, but I’ll use them eventually.

Jinbao: Over my dead body!

**91. When was your first time (age)?**

Que Siming: Sixteen, I think.

Jinbao: Nineteen.

**92. Was it with your current lover?**

Que Siming: No.

Jinbao: Yes.

**93. Where do you most like to be kissed?**

Que Siming: Down below, but he refuses to.

Jinbao: My neck.

**94. Where do you most like to kiss the other person?**

Que Siming: His neck and mouth.

Jinbao: His mouth.

**95. When during “H” is the other person the most pleased?**

Que Siming: When we’re kissing and doing it at the same time.

Jinbao: It’s always when I’m about to pass out that he seems to get the most excited.

**96. What do you think about during “H”?**

Que Siming: How to bully him even more.

Jinbao: When will it be over?

**97. How many times do you usually do it in one night?**

Que Siming: Ideally four times.

Jinbao: I usually can’t keep count.

**98. Do you undress yourself during “H” or let the other person do it?**

Que Siming: I like undressing him.

99. What does ‘H’ mean to you?

Que Siming: What do two grown men get so close for? Obviously, to do *that*.

Jinbao: It’s, uh, a pretty good thing.

100. You’ve worked hard! Now, say the one thing you most want to tell the other person!

Que Siming: How about we try the rooftop tonight?

Jinbao: I’m going out with the young master to have fun, and you’re not coming…