Chapter 181
Ren Yi washed his face and rinsed his mouth several times before finally cleaning the dry powder from his mouth and nose.AEvyYmQbwTmGgtSjChvPYZttoziOkM
chInAUQntYgxHEiThe dry powder is low in toxicity; ingesting a little wouldn’t hurt, but he still felt as if he had been poisoned, struggling to breathe, as if something was stuck in his throat, unable to swallow or spit it out, causing a headache.tIQprPKyVDUUcpGoPdeyzkgeqkAXZd
VfUTrTUmstSjLQFHe supported himself on the sink, staring at his wet face in the mirror, his limp hair sticking to his cheeks, just as listless as its owner.dbkMsURiobomdKOeMXZHfmSPRbdxJt
TDrUhvnnOHTqsNCHis hair had grown long; it was time for a haircut.juqVmIdfecotxijSiQSAobMmDeSsAl
gFiOHKKJMGfnexIRen Yi thought to himself.UIaaCRoKuZAkDqdpeMqUruHiaopCdq
XmiqGWUEcfjysPhIt seemed he hadn’t looked in the mirror seriously for a long time, and only now did he notice some changes in his appearance.IDzBCbPgEdLYroQdhpWfoeNAoBdEMf
NzqMHnwPxVyBFAqWhen his dad saw him, the first thing he would probably say was, “Why have you lost weight again?” He had already prepared his response, but unexpectedly, his dad didn’t ask him, not even remembering who he was.jsdaNwLkeXIcFAtogYeKZAVnvLFYPo
xAmLSEHkpRJDcYHHis dad had been sick for several years. He wasn’t unprepared for the psychological toll of losing control, but every time he saw him, it hurt all over again, without exception.xSXsHjYCODvHRBSxGSnlNUIqWgMjBZ
ixnJkwiDPnkbDdoIn the mirror, another person appeared, gazing back at Ren Yi.DCRAGfmNJVnggAixpBNGjlTqXUlLBc
qDiHiRtIXmoHVnuGong Yingxian looked at him with concern and handed him a bottle of mineral water: “Are you feeling better? Do you need to go to the hospital for a stomach wash?”BQAOdjBRiulfJOvgjdMpwTnpwQHocq
NphHOAfdVtpgJON“It’s not that serious.” Ren Yi took the water and took a sip, “Where’s my dad?”OGtpOcJgnSkJXFTiAvKotHJPtrihyX
hVTFycWxBiSaHbB“He’s fine; the doctor gave him a little sedative.”GIdZuOwSiwMwMoNxJJQZMNoTaPlkEP
qLKphYVRueZbOnVRen Yi lowered his head, breathing slowly.GXQBSSVkAIGJvkngbdSOPOkymJoZFJ
RDPoKyiKyFvYSdk“I can provide Captain Ren with…”RdvZBXbqNjWxxCbpwvmmEXxADprPZo
gIrVIKWkoOKDZCq“No need.” Ren Yi interrupted him, “Don’t say it.”bRAcwwpHptMHBPaBtRAbuPdiUWTHCY
kHLnHKVjotAklbkGong Yingxian looked at Ren Yi’s weary face in the mirror, feeling heartbroken. He walked over and gently stroked Ren Yi’s spine with his large hand: “It’s too hard to take care of a patient alone; I really want to help you.”zwFAvHRAMxpqXjfaMXOsdXNCUIUylu
EVKIzJtfHpVkGcURen Yi silently shook his head. Looking back, the time he felt the most relaxed and his dad felt the most comfortable was in Gong Yingxian’s private hospital, but he also knew that for both public and private reasons, he could no longer accept that.JoRkCqQFxxpyWKiTroNsTMmVgHLQnR
wklInylOOxWAWYAWhat was hard? Everyone has their struggles in life; at least he still had his dad.bsjGOgSmdbpoqUgZNnMdoOIXUqQUpG
ggXymTEgFwCYJsJRen Yi stood up, wanting to escape from Gong Yingxian, but was suddenly pulled into his embrace.eXLWYJMVJCTGkEmvfJRPrcxuMwYQtQ
TcgGNrhNkumXmIzThe long-lost hug, the familiar broad chest, warm breath, and overwhelming strength made Ren Yi momentarily lose his senses. He should have refused, but he found that he really wanted a hug right now.YVtAeIfNwEVjIOjtUJNEIVdekJqjXY
NOzspvPdZryMuQaGong Yingxian’s voice was hoarse, “I really want to help you, want to solve all your worries, so you never have to be troubled by anything, but you never ask me for help, carrying everything by yourself. Why can’t you be an ordinary… ordinary person?”wmXdqQDAISPImIwmJlxYybcbbCgDSK
dFHMQwbnwVBYQZG“…I am an ordinary person; ordinary people have to solve their own troubles.”XukmpzOYKtVTKIepBYgKjmpHqRkImf
HsJojhmWhmuFQTK“But I hope you can rely on me.”FdDDZXljnqqSvPnJQaHglcodUmtrqg
vKuTfAAxfXGFexKRen Yi wanted to retort, “Can you be relied upon?” but he held back, sighing softly, “I need to go see my dad.”aScYeYtqfYiCNDwPahkqgkFuwwQcYy
JYCbfjjWWENNGwmGong Yingxian reluctantly let go.eFaJBcvLYOtzepASIKCXPThRxBMpnM
BBOtJYQUTNOREnnRen Yi turned to leave, but Gong Yingxian grabbed him again: “Wait.” He carefully brushed the dry powder off Ren Yi’s hair with his hand.EcyNYEjWOMgDSmrmlQINMkiEECzUNO
iiKpyIaYsZMRtBoThe two stood facing each other, their breaths mingling in the air, warm and ticklish. Gong Yingxian, whether intentionally or not, several times almost brushed his lips against Ren Yi’s nose.nqhYqylMvoRRlogRFnIudGlxHbusuo
DCVxfCUAqpYkDoyIn a daze, Ren Yi suddenly felt Gong Yingxian lower his head and kiss the small mole on the bridge of his nose.AJzxzjzjtPqyZGeyNJTLWGHOBOMipk
SADrFVGqXmTZKkCLogically, they had done all sorts of shameless things together, so it shouldn’t be that they were stirred by a restrained kiss, but Ren Yi couldn’t help but feel his heart race. He stepped back, crossing over Gong Yingxian as he left.WhEsnoXfLLMVwQFUgsoXDMiLVAOVTC
RXASRcvlkOGObzfGong Yingxian looked at his empty hands, feeling lost. It turned out that being able to embrace the person you want to embrace freely is a hard-won fortune.oAvfLJuPGKNVcpGVGKWFVfQcKefpDl
NmXvuOkCULkmtCrThe doctor gave Ren Xiangrong a low dose of sedative; he didn’t fall asleep but calmed down from his restlessness and anxiety, lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, murmuring to himself.JFLQZiOvFqwaYKmlNrkSSvjWWObdAZ
iSaIgATKqZqqusZRen Yi sat at the head of the bed, silently watching his father, his eyes filled with melancholy, his mouth silent.ivCxXRPDmBeegtQPVibTSxjBxHTJOn
onIZQfOrBUdcpgoGong Yingxian found a chair and sat beside Ren Yi, accompanying him in silence.uGNwtMPUFaNIkJAUIXlqPcXNzYMtfB
VrUFKEfWmiopemaAfter a long time, Ren Yi spoke: “My dad was like me when he was young; everyone says we look alike—our appearance, temperament, experiences—all too similar.” Ren Yi said softly, “My dad used to be as healthy and strong as I am, always the first to rush into a fire to save people, never hesitating to risk his life. My dad has saved countless people in his lifetime, earning great merit, but when it was time for him to enjoy retirement, he fell ill, with no warning.”BGmVJOxcSVHqQKDvqSiJhfpXygaYCJ
eGtmXALqRZxmQxQGong Yingxian looked at Ren Yi, his heart aching.ySHoWmTFGKZHQaAdfzSSZktstByXRi
gXocTNQDehewOsE“My dad has imagined many times what he would do when he retired, where he would go on road trips, to see the places he never had the chance to visit while serving in the team. But… I just don’t understand why someone like my dad, who seems to have endless energy, is not treated kindly by fate. At that time, I had a lot of resentment.” As Ren Yi spoke, his voice choked slightly, “A person who seemed to have boundless energy was suddenly bound by illness, needing help just to go downstairs. He suffers much more than I do, but he has never complained in front of me. He always says… being able to retire in good health is already very fortunate.”HnmPQOYNPUEmDohgQcwwqNxFYMoyoE
zdLgMRgVZxBfjwMGong Yingxian gently comforted him: “The old captain has seen life and death; he’s more open-minded than you think.”biDiDsPbiuhbOyEosnJvIwiRkPLLdf
vJvbqktqKWljvaxRen Yi held his father’s hand gently: “You know, this illness has a certain hereditary probability.”qgiDMqCDFWpudfFSVYAKJQGVSdoGzL
NPkNCoLIShfsrbzGong Yingxian immediately said, “Don’t worry; the probability is very low. There are now methods for early detection and prevention, and besides, the medical standards thirty years from now will be at another level.” He certainly knew that since he learned about Ren Xiangrong’s illness, he had been adjusting the hospital’s research focus. Previously, his hospital mainly targeted cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases, such as heart attacks, strokes, and other high mortality and disability rate diseases. Alzheimer’s was just one part of it. Starting this year, he increased the budget by an additional 30% and collaborated with top domestic and international universities, shifting half of the hospital’s resources toward this research topic. He would never let Ren Yi fall into such pain.waqZMJkRGieQuGzVntroymNYGjYXyB
BiUIIeWPzvwHyto“I’m not worried about thirty years from now; I just… feel a bit uncomfortable today.” Ren Yi held Ren Xiangrong’s hand, which was covered in various scars—burns, scalds, bruises, chemical burns—rough and somewhat deformed. This was a pair of hands that had relied on life, a pair of hands laden with honor.YThpRQYHXDjwUXnSfeImNldMlYNUav
HLWtCbQRXKMaMtOGong Yingxian reached out, placing his palm against Ren Yi’s warm cheek: “No matter what happens, I will always be by your side.”qXGWXnlpWIEKOxOLqvtmbbdfkaYtKr
ViQpcOFHXnIYFtmRen Yi was silent for a few seconds before speaking: “Yingxian, in my profession, the most feared thing is an unstable mind. If I can’t focus when going into battle, it can easily lead to accidents.”SRkBoqduOdbkXkmdZwlUUZJlDtCcbN
HLeUHeaFLpdPfMEGong Yingxian realized what Ren Yi was about to say, and he knew it wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear, but he could only brace himself and listen.yegAdwhhfvwxdZfwUkrUPiMfsAQYFg
xKXIKztUoBjpxXF“But right now, my mind is filled with you, with all our entanglements. One moment I think of your good side, the next I think of your bad side. I don’t want to hurt you, nor do I want you to hurt me. I don’t know how we should move forward, but you keep pushing closer.” Ren Yi’s expression and voice were very calm, like the surface of a still lake under the warm spring sun, undisturbed by the wind, brewing all winter just for this moment of quiet thaw, thus finding no wrinkles, “I said I hope to take a break for a while; it’s not avoidance. I really want… to calm down, but you keep appearing in front of me, and I can’t calm down.”bVOXSJUBBkUiKftmqtoGfcesqYktwF
MPUkhQTIEfURdlZGong Yingxian’s heart and lungs ached so much that he forgot or temporarily lost the ability to breathe. He stared blankly at Ren Yi, his eyes gradually becoming wet.pXulKgdnETtjFiBDRbuNdzAazZbrBz
qkGsmvupFgkUydA“I’m about to go for full-time study, for half a year, to finish my master’s at the Armed Police University. This is the team’s arrangement and also my cooling-off period. I haven’t been given up; I’m already very content.” Ren Yi looked deep into Gong Yingxian’s eyes, “During this time, can we not meet for a while?”AVzPTqSgKfyVwodYfmzdGmzfTJJdWJ
vHyibIHGSenzySYGong Yingxian’s tears hovered at the edge of his eyes, ready to fall but not falling.cCbYKxYViFXTiTlkyCWoHXeFTBEVzk
JuzKkQlpYfDusZQThat crystalline tear was like a dazzling light in the night, making it hard for Ren Yi to open his eyes. His heart ached so much that he didn’t know what to do, even wanting to take back every word he had just said, but he knew clearly that the barrier between him and Gong Yingxian had grown into a wall.sPXRTojIQPhuVOKIoTyCXRezBONsBr
ILdZcgwWEZrSIEFIn the past, he would have climbed over any mountain, but now he was afraid; he feared that after climbing one, there would be another, and all his efforts would be in vain.EcKqxuJosFsVeYHMdreUdraUDTIvhQ
cGQSrJzRXymXzhbGong Yingxian trembled slightly and asked, “Is this what you want?”BkZawSiahSUTJHQkkcqMAHdHCtyweH
jSCctUQsUYIWJtK“This is what we need,” Ren Yi replied, “In terms of feelings, I am more mature than you. If I act impulsively without considering the consequences, it could lead to both of us being hurt.”fqKuoIkLAsIPVZIPrlRSkpjZNAMalM
IoLgaMvVGtzGgJrGong Yingxian endured the heart-wrenching pain and nodded with difficulty: “Okay.”rkLTOBmnLeesGlMjiQjVqvMvNfItDR
dyMcfhEXSglizlhRen Yi turned his face away.iDmGlKBuOskJHtVyvyZIVgWEHDpxWk
NoHnvGngBCfhlhj“Then, can I message you?”OKWTnAFrpqImZnXGszgizJiDWZaDAS
GhxXcjGbHXzfPGs“…Mm.”lAUNTcVGYWMsRxWGyCkIZViVNqZdHS
ZFcRMXoZUQqabPs“When can I see you?”DluQzOcRjIaBTGAZJZfoPAuqjNcQux
TRnlJQoXVAiHIHK“Wait until I’m ready to face you.”dPWroKVvKfpXGfcVQgvDbvyVpVsRPM
tCCXEFaqJDyWVBuGong Yingxian wanted to dig deeper, to ask when exactly that would be, but he didn’t voice it.KxrmwzVsRJcyFqrZjbFYMbNtGeGOPu
HGguiqSgWEwmRyRRen Yi hardened his heart and said, “You should go back. I want to keep vigil here tonight.”OtlGSLaPNaNExpTjILiYGyraWviSjt
GeEipTXlbPtufJyGong Yingxian slowly stood up, paused for a moment, then bent down and pressed a kiss on Ren Yi’s lips, whispering, “I like you, I love you, I would die for you without hesitation. Don’t give up on me.”rPLeFQmbQiYVchLbDLmJTOxWgjocIP
CvRiQvjqjCrZuMyRen Yi unconsciously reached out his hand, seemingly wanting to grab Gong Yingxian’s clothes, but he quickly came to his senses and instead placed his palm against Gong Yingxian’s heart. This vibrant heart, is it only beating for itself at this moment?tSAeyNvDSAmywtQjipagqWMmaUWLvb
KRljOeYSzAkghyeRen Yi patted that heart: “Take care of yourself.”uzmIDMRAnfVgztBZPxaVJAupCnucRD
XoUbuAndgqLaioxGong Yingxian left.edmlZDlpDOvBTMIWThhmxOXIPptVoY
LKHWNjXgKGXdKcFListening to the sound of the door closing, Ren Yi’s tears suddenly burst forth.FraKCrtxIHmzGFWencnwBzGZsxDsZS
QLcEOaxtmhYZWHaHe suddenly remembered the warning Qiu Yan had once given him.FYaUraCKOdSkyfSBnTqiIaFwsWMsdo
PgdtTaPHfjrMjGcHad he been an irresponsible “adult”?oANgFSdfLymLaSyuZxyJVMdWFIOsTU
MDDVnBUepCyaWwxBut that “child” was both naive and cruel.eqOwMigmSInQSqvJndaBAKyFjBDGVV
WIIWXmDCdZAUgxXDnTIqciMjMtoMnhgjvJFckgvAlqpxD