Chapter 181
Ren Yi washed his face and rinsed his mouth several times before finally cleaning the dry powder from his mouth and nose.atUsOoikDenuxNpNwLllSomoGvdKCl
ucStsMFcaUKthYmThe dry powder is low in toxicity; ingesting a little wouldn’t hurt, but he still felt as if he had been poisoned, struggling to breathe, as if something was stuck in his throat, unable to swallow or spit it out, causing a headache.mCOIoKXIemqOIjZLncvriGXjBxeiJV
tVQraRaVbbFYmRGHe supported himself on the sink, staring at his wet face in the mirror, his limp hair sticking to his cheeks, just as listless as its owner.fsXUchBMCIPpFeebmzYJJHpfXKZhIp
ZiHKwqehdTLdLvdHis hair had grown long; it was time for a haircut.rdwytLftvgrLAEBOmFYUiMyosafglA
xglrwhjsItbMsplRen Yi thought to himself.KMHnlPyWrKZSFxvfpkKeICZXXXBPpG
HOwJIBgePAUWVdGIt seemed he hadn’t looked in the mirror seriously for a long time, and only now did he notice some changes in his appearance.MnGMlmCsTbITYbwBjNjPfaxafFImnI
pjNBGCiYhznzuOzWhen his dad saw him, the first thing he would probably say was, “Why have you lost weight again?” He had already prepared his response, but unexpectedly, his dad didn’t ask him, not even remembering who he was.yKOOlwYUQcycqmojuZKTREXPPqsRWd
luuFlAZBbHFSGgUHis dad had been sick for several years. He wasn’t unprepared for the psychological toll of losing control, but every time he saw him, it hurt all over again, without exception.JAGHLjPLGkvAzIWAfuDbNyKpyCoibx
qeZGMSYikLJEMMEIn the mirror, another person appeared, gazing back at Ren Yi.MnaVNZgAGMVqBtjqksATDwQjIebHju
LJjlztQivFNjmvmGong Yingxian looked at him with concern and handed him a bottle of mineral water: “Are you feeling better? Do you need to go to the hospital for a stomach wash?”WifBZENWhepGQCuYIvDiiFuvNLlhAc
haIrftWHolULUKK“It’s not that serious.” Ren Yi took the water and took a sip, “Where’s my dad?”ubNENsJwZTXXwNLfcgHmaRkBkgPSWg
eMmbMIjFzgZxPcn“He’s fine; the doctor gave him a little sedative.”oEVQaZteukNFGAMzQRAcsbyWfEZohj
EXwzguIJvnPbYlbRen Yi lowered his head, breathing slowly.vkgEOURhUyValwuJYveoPaWhyhyzrz
TBsgMveNyrfLeYe“I can provide Captain Ren with…”BheKOyJOXuiRveyPhbnfTSZFWYhRjI
BesLgJPbwahCteR“No need.” Ren Yi interrupted him, “Don’t say it.”LgFRUAJImmHzsSaNMNEuGGkYialkHx
XlyuKPyBPTiXiAeGong Yingxian looked at Ren Yi’s weary face in the mirror, feeling heartbroken. He walked over and gently stroked Ren Yi’s spine with his large hand: “It’s too hard to take care of a patient alone; I really want to help you.”ESUMWQzcUVlUwAoSNFHOHkQLOODAeh
BlXUnmypyTmMyKnRen Yi silently shook his head. Looking back, the time he felt the most relaxed and his dad felt the most comfortable was in Gong Yingxian’s private hospital, but he also knew that for both public and private reasons, he could no longer accept that.StdUmWttHYyDvrWftmeIhYmtemdqWC
CgbDKzWbCDSdxpGWhat was hard? Everyone has their struggles in life; at least he still had his dad.mxwDpLvWNDYILOBQzHYAqBqsKGWFoD
AWFErZgxjegHULLRen Yi stood up, wanting to escape from Gong Yingxian, but was suddenly pulled into his embrace.NKGokhcpRAuOxitgHkZTvhdBvkqdeF
RiclNdolqibboWDThe long-lost hug, the familiar broad chest, warm breath, and overwhelming strength made Ren Yi momentarily lose his senses. He should have refused, but he found that he really wanted a hug right now.cXWlFVKpilFOBwDuNpomRfZRNxVuOK
FdDfamoAAGqtGIvGong Yingxian’s voice was hoarse, “I really want to help you, want to solve all your worries, so you never have to be troubled by anything, but you never ask me for help, carrying everything by yourself. Why can’t you be an ordinary… ordinary person?”aJYhhNoOIDHxhqtmQVsrIjAMILgMQZ
LhxFTzzGLeKtief“…I am an ordinary person; ordinary people have to solve their own troubles.”gWaLwXpRztmMhtkPUQGlQUOBFMiChn
mDTlEnCzIlkBzaZ“But I hope you can rely on me.”WLdUJUkRCmQpUVHvamwrhUFmGVWGkl
CDqwttXzGWbhrqyRen Yi wanted to retort, “Can you be relied upon?” but he held back, sighing softly, “I need to go see my dad.”BqkDMAmeunDZnzBffclJnlrsgbjLsb
jZWXKeMijPrRXpvGong Yingxian reluctantly let go.XpUoLTOZpLRDEifIHRhDIPQBLasVEo
wKjAncTYWYFDQaJRen Yi turned to leave, but Gong Yingxian grabbed him again: “Wait.” He carefully brushed the dry powder off Ren Yi’s hair with his hand.MXkItDyOXOCxbkYbyJMUlCThIfxhql
GmMlUCnUkmaKEXAThe two stood facing each other, their breaths mingling in the air, warm and ticklish. Gong Yingxian, whether intentionally or not, several times almost brushed his lips against Ren Yi’s nose.kwgAVcplVEcKFBjzTGSwWRlfHORHdy
sgSISTkfUWCvxacIn a daze, Ren Yi suddenly felt Gong Yingxian lower his head and kiss the small mole on the bridge of his nose.RQwzJnzrSgkzUGvIDtTRYooiOtJXwn
islGOLCtUKmwwWRLogically, they had done all sorts of shameless things together, so it shouldn’t be that they were stirred by a restrained kiss, but Ren Yi couldn’t help but feel his heart race. He stepped back, crossing over Gong Yingxian as he left.GftXwLoiCvDKMGHfHMYCafvtypaFBD
rDASTZfjxcEWXcKGong Yingxian looked at his empty hands, feeling lost. It turned out that being able to embrace the person you want to embrace freely is a hard-won fortune.gxDYhoQQWPaDkivkEanjaLcnzLVGti
QhUJwZJmCZqQjpOThe doctor gave Ren Xiangrong a low dose of sedative; he didn’t fall asleep but calmed down from his restlessness and anxiety, lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, murmuring to himself.zlFVWqVhMOJgqgeidDasqnzRskTAVs
dsLMajCVlgKUEIFRen Yi sat at the head of the bed, silently watching his father, his eyes filled with melancholy, his mouth silent.fseahuyuPshMbNxfdijVMQPKubYsRC
XBDxtTZWJUvnHymGong Yingxian found a chair and sat beside Ren Yi, accompanying him in silence.PviyHyfwfAtkdpkMBjNYlICvDocOsM
PWKuuIQPfaDVrhnAfter a long time, Ren Yi spoke: “My dad was like me when he was young; everyone says we look alike—our appearance, temperament, experiences—all too similar.” Ren Yi said softly, “My dad used to be as healthy and strong as I am, always the first to rush into a fire to save people, never hesitating to risk his life. My dad has saved countless people in his lifetime, earning great merit, but when it was time for him to enjoy retirement, he fell ill, with no warning.”ehNpGaXUlOrpXDEDQslMMUduVYCQAB
ynrTxAdXIfpqfaYGong Yingxian looked at Ren Yi, his heart aching.VfBNFVbfJRaMtekcQARbdvKaqDRSVt
zwHBvgpmMQxgtaP“My dad has imagined many times what he would do when he retired, where he would go on road trips, to see the places he never had the chance to visit while serving in the team. But… I just don’t understand why someone like my dad, who seems to have endless energy, is not treated kindly by fate. At that time, I had a lot of resentment.” As Ren Yi spoke, his voice choked slightly, “A person who seemed to have boundless energy was suddenly bound by illness, needing help just to go downstairs. He suffers much more than I do, but he has never complained in front of me. He always says… being able to retire in good health is already very fortunate.”jBHxAYRaWWgBVBVmHEBwopzXGCDeZk
kovvmvayEOUVchIGong Yingxian gently comforted him: “The old captain has seen life and death; he’s more open-minded than you think.”uWzFuimmzHUnnCGqdsUvltqDUtQoEt
FauMoiFwNvNsaMrRen Yi held his father’s hand gently: “You know, this illness has a certain hereditary probability.”GBBuwkXmKJdzvXitzpKhWGtLTwaqxE
BKIkdcxJRmcbvCbGong Yingxian immediately said, “Don’t worry; the probability is very low. There are now methods for early detection and prevention, and besides, the medical standards thirty years from now will be at another level.” He certainly knew that since he learned about Ren Xiangrong’s illness, he had been adjusting the hospital’s research focus. Previously, his hospital mainly targeted cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases, such as heart attacks, strokes, and other high mortality and disability rate diseases. Alzheimer’s was just one part of it. Starting this year, he increased the budget by an additional 30% and collaborated with top domestic and international universities, shifting half of the hospital’s resources toward this research topic. He would never let Ren Yi fall into such pain.pEJZUUZsYqvquUEkahGavciJUXdWOo
mIDOjfOrvxuPkli“I’m not worried about thirty years from now; I just… feel a bit uncomfortable today.” Ren Yi held Ren Xiangrong’s hand, which was covered in various scars—burns, scalds, bruises, chemical burns—rough and somewhat deformed. This was a pair of hands that had relied on life, a pair of hands laden with honor.caYmYgCtTWwjvMiWpvwOTmUADARUOz
qLHvjaYERbHFgzXGong Yingxian reached out, placing his palm against Ren Yi’s warm cheek: “No matter what happens, I will always be by your side.”nxkLFynTKjainnLyfAVoBSfIcLpSjr
yYbldsPIMnqlrGlRen Yi was silent for a few seconds before speaking: “Yingxian, in my profession, the most feared thing is an unstable mind. If I can’t focus when going into battle, it can easily lead to accidents.”cKcZpYVRDzaGnQIhHYoCMLPphttwnR
MkMLonXaDEjXhixGong Yingxian realized what Ren Yi was about to say, and he knew it wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear, but he could only brace himself and listen.JhDpUNiHJVlvFdIacUpFPntEnQETuk
CTTuBmNWgOhTuYo“But right now, my mind is filled with you, with all our entanglements. One moment I think of your good side, the next I think of your bad side. I don’t want to hurt you, nor do I want you to hurt me. I don’t know how we should move forward, but you keep pushing closer.” Ren Yi’s expression and voice were very calm, like the surface of a still lake under the warm spring sun, undisturbed by the wind, brewing all winter just for this moment of quiet thaw, thus finding no wrinkles, “I said I hope to take a break for a while; it’s not avoidance. I really want… to calm down, but you keep appearing in front of me, and I can’t calm down.”zfNkTJxOSZrIJdHbiRqKvcKiQBoHOO
IxpxNYMNFTQFJDSGong Yingxian’s heart and lungs ached so much that he forgot or temporarily lost the ability to breathe. He stared blankly at Ren Yi, his eyes gradually becoming wet.fTlhEaGabeCZrPyNBfZIbssLrRPrWi
ZIMyysxMcApvInV“I’m about to go for full-time study, for half a year, to finish my master’s at the Armed Police University. This is the team’s arrangement and also my cooling-off period. I haven’t been given up; I’m already very content.” Ren Yi looked deep into Gong Yingxian’s eyes, “During this time, can we not meet for a while?”fxoyhbgMyeZzfOAWFGsYEjBJtCPyqp
LfTQcKIhnqfvSkcGong Yingxian’s tears hovered at the edge of his eyes, ready to fall but not falling.jMbxrhPrCAPlrxBiqCFZOArEBRsKKy
WMMQVleJxiCzaRnThat crystalline tear was like a dazzling light in the night, making it hard for Ren Yi to open his eyes. His heart ached so much that he didn’t know what to do, even wanting to take back every word he had just said, but he knew clearly that the barrier between him and Gong Yingxian had grown into a wall.vzUEencxWTTBjvNJoxNhuRBCTlUJpi
fdcsHBmgcFYIxkqIn the past, he would have climbed over any mountain, but now he was afraid; he feared that after climbing one, there would be another, and all his efforts would be in vain.iYBWPHcJnxmxsZKNlyVQoqLVvqLaiM
PvrNhGbklmAsxMdGong Yingxian trembled slightly and asked, “Is this what you want?”trmeCurLKfQPJGVqQBaCMiMkxYyooQ
kewEVLbEHrDEDHh“This is what we need,” Ren Yi replied, “In terms of feelings, I am more mature than you. If I act impulsively without considering the consequences, it could lead to both of us being hurt.”nLHdOMkhcNsWJqTxwJSPQnBrIbRKxn
rNdaCEZJVMlduJkGong Yingxian endured the heart-wrenching pain and nodded with difficulty: “Okay.”wKcXTSatxUpYpDGnfrqovMpspWfKGN
HBnwSOSgtxqHkTrRen Yi turned his face away.AVCpGOBeycjhyKXlUNdowMszToRsCO
FeHuSjnlIHTjEvX“Then, can I message you?”ucxGHeWMRGhSzJZOrTBeDXaomMlFLI
HMdssgbmGEZDImm“…Mm.”nmfTJLKddAlaXMkyjrDeePQbLpBoUD
RkezAQxcpAsRuDv“When can I see you?”EJjbazQmCyyWQfSafVsDEJQxlzQMxL
LSOiOJxpmLYwsvg“Wait until I’m ready to face you.”QoCnjbYgCRSrsqJDTJATyWxFiQUktT
zoEHwnBkNqblZlWGong Yingxian wanted to dig deeper, to ask when exactly that would be, but he didn’t voice it.IWPTrePnCLBHCoGfxrGCaTzImlUTbX
BbbSPFhoVFHIYoKRen Yi hardened his heart and said, “You should go back. I want to keep vigil here tonight.”yQVbgVbbalbyBXhvPpQxLdjaobpbep
PFhHiYEaBLBwLqLGong Yingxian slowly stood up, paused for a moment, then bent down and pressed a kiss on Ren Yi’s lips, whispering, “I like you, I love you, I would die for you without hesitation. Don’t give up on me.”nvXCQXdusSHWyaYJtvQMeKlLxTdaOr
wPJRtUfNDnVpdgtRen Yi unconsciously reached out his hand, seemingly wanting to grab Gong Yingxian’s clothes, but he quickly came to his senses and instead placed his palm against Gong Yingxian’s heart. This vibrant heart, is it only beating for itself at this moment?gasIisCPVYwVeTBuKjaUrIlnFniUxo
YcEfTKYFFQitCXrRen Yi patted that heart: “Take care of yourself.”qyzBkWZnkLnqnxEGtPpHCYVKrQhKhX
xDJabmUKnRwdjtUGong Yingxian left.VaXwgdgSXmuxhobcNSXwJfrkSyLGYM
XSyBFtfybObVGTTListening to the sound of the door closing, Ren Yi’s tears suddenly burst forth.PFOsrKwpGZshSxemTzsllpPrKJBLPe
cCOkWWAlHxQNjyUHe suddenly remembered the warning Qiu Yan had once given him.ERWBoLZscGCKNCxZsMpaESgKSUnDJu
RKfSkppmzXPqmBdHad he been an irresponsible “adult”?PuRdZykswdcdByDNZaTpaBzUOMpUvX
oVMnEDHrrPRuzXiBut that “child” was both naive and cruel.iQgZHPdOWgAnTSEyAFpJxOCLFKJPxt
ZQBRuIZwkAOjdwDstFwXOMuEDNfCoKxZtjUXvPwvSbGXa