Chapter 82
Ren Yi’s entire body stiffened, and his brain roared like a bomb that obliterated everything around him, leaving only a blank void.faQugAFAEAgIkFQLZxBbilIePfZXcN
zowCBiJQSlPFVSQQi Xiao’s gaze flicked between the two of them, and in an instant, he understood. Looking back at the two times he had seen this Dr. Gong, and remembering Ren Yi’s mention of a “blind date” last time, he should have guessed it earlier.MLwkZKzvqOoNOYbMcubIyFnhaotXWJ
dUuusGWAOiOrllgQi Xiao let out a self-deprecating laugh. Ren Yi had saved him from embarrassment, but he had insisted on throwing it all out there—what an awkward mess.qOniugIxwWpujFGcXnJfAJnvlhmJlM
kKwfbtwUsOSfcYQEverything happening before Gong Yingxian made his chest feel like it was about to explode. He had never experienced such rage. He felt the bitterness of being deceived, betrayed, robbed, and the sorrow of having something he considered untouchable violated.zUvoeYtDsmnnMTMrQwWShbyolctRFp
DuEFgEqXKSALzlGGong Yingxian threw what was in his hand to the ground with a furious crash. His face was rigid and twisted, and his gaze toward Qi Xiao was sharp and chilling. He gritted his teeth and spat out a single word: “Get out.”cvXCnrnOuHdRWbghHKfaOYzznWVfun
kIaIbMNriFhzCWoQi Xiao was overwhelmed by Gong Yingxian’s hostility, his spine tingling with fear. Like a jackal caught in a fight with a tiger, terror seized his heart, and he instinctively stepped back two paces.veOpqfbDgVmvUXVfzCKUACaoQTjuzt
AEeniRdVaTQLcAZ“I don’t want to touch you.” Gong Yingxian snarled menacingly, “Get the fuck out!”orXbxLbFVrbzDKKaBPaEUsruhAHMnv
BiqoOfecoQxjvVOQi Xiao flinched, his shoulder trembling, and he turned and ran.DlxtHxIMdRuSmopqMEHRLKxLspTUAW
JeCAtRBvBtiIopQIn the now-empty corridor, only two people remained, locked in silence. The frigid air seemed to freeze with the agonizing tension.kkmTRXzqImZAngFDaVpHDGRcHaiIgO
wovMZsaOKsFQrvVRen Yi’s mind was in chaos.qRPaUsECxJmsUPauulOGTvjDLbJPXj
aSPJkoSCbYbcfxvStaying calm in a crisis was a basic quality of a fire chief, and Ren Yi had proven his professionalism countless times throughout his career. Yet, when it came to anything involving Gong Yingxian, he had lost his composure repeatedly.RbSUqhrjOXDCNmVdIznmUFbdiFoVhN
ykEpJDFIbjNplOtRight now, he didn’t even dare look at Gong Yingxian. He was afraid of seeing disgust on the face he loved so much.HNEripQAmfUIKebNVMSQkNWQlJBaZm
UXWYaPIjrewqNcEOne thing consumed his mind—Gong Yingxian knew. He knew Ren Yi was a “disgusting” “pervert.”xyvsBTnXGAVmUKIpFKbXuaEydSCYpY
bYBtMcumRekCgyPGong Yingxian stepped closer to Ren Yi, his voice icy as he ordered, “Look at me.”PibXCGfQmFtWjOVIXzlMOuhtAGTDQH
DcYWJzXvlwUWPKcRen Yi closed his eyes briefly, summoning the courage to lift his head. But as soon as his gaze met Gong Yingxian’s stormy eyes, he couldn’t help but flinch and look away.xeBuJOZYmdEXLkuCchlRjSDXceemGt
SoJCSUsVdCfJohZ“You are…” Those three words were hard for Gong Yingxian to say.nOrENLukIoUuULKYgsqAlLEFsRTryq
tixDTYkMkWuvzoaRen Yi inhaled sharply and softly said, “I am.”CBCxGisDwVJbhQrLzqGEEFbcSMecNk
EMlVriDWMJWXknbHe had hoped Gong Yingxian wouldn’t find out, but he wouldn’t deny it either. Denying it would be admitting that his orientation was a sin, and he didn’t believe he was guilty. He just happened to like someone he shouldn’t.CnQutykZHOnOdXnVASJwyMCmaifDlF
ymOlyKiFjmMTECTGong Yingxian clenched his fists and asked the next question with great difficulty, “Qi Xiao is your boyfriend.”boHuKfTVsRXXzhWifaDMebLYUgvgzB
bLhTNSMyQNOyZecHe finally understood the unusual atmosphere between Ren Yi and Qi Xiao. Everything suddenly made sense. Just when he had been feeling joy at being Ren Yi’s “best friend,” Qi Xiao and Ren Yi had a closer, more important relationship.uGNVjKGmqKYqggHJANMApIIUldjfCU
MINEKoVNvdfGyGuThey hugged, they kissed, they said things only couples would say. And in places Gong Yingxian couldn’t see, they did more intimate things, said more intimate words. Qi Xiao had a Ren Yi that was far more complete, more enduring, and more intimate than anything Gong Yingxian had.abnyWVrNiZiaaEUViUrAiWUNPxqkoD
ZTRbPktesYWWtQzThe thought that there was another person in the world who could touch Ren Yi’s body freely, who could kiss Ren Yi’s lips, who could live day in and day out with him, sharing laughter, made Gong Yingxian seethe with murderous rage.npqGtrrQZMrRAtugzLVdaIynrGmNyn
PHAIjTIAswHHqXpIt wasn’t until now, seeing someone else doing all the things he wanted to do to Ren Yi, that he finally understood what Ren Yi meant to him. All the joy, the desire, the impulses suddenly made sense.zazcXdsIRPDbLQXNiRjagKmsCuhgjV
fwWMmQYutsfdtDSIt wasn’t that he was ignorant. His experiences in adolescence had led him to reject this part of himself, so he had never consciously, or even unconsciously, considered this possibility. But now, he couldn’t be clearer—his impulses toward Ren Yi were sexual. He didn’t just see Ren Yi as a friend; he wanted to possess him, to own every part of him.owKWyxgrYprNsgYPKkUjjUdhzHtBbz
dBCRpfYBhYTKtVbBut the moment he came to this realization, it was already too late. Ren Yi didn’t belong to him.TIQIgnRydneGstZqJsDXhhbFWayEal
HXuzTRcWANQfvRoRen Yi opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He didn’t dare answer the question.zOTCBBDGfYaOugLdXUmHAOXbNeEtoY
nZdiqIVjxqUAcUjIf he said no, what would Gong Yingxian think? Homosexuality was already something Gong Yingxian found utterly repugnant. If Ren Yi admitted that their relationship was purely physical, wouldn’t Gong Yingxian, with his naivety and sense of purity, find it even more repulsive?CwspUnUiJTACLXfwTAZyOZWuFLwkdF
JXpXQthytmOlMArGong Yingxian’s cold, twisted, and furious expression was already like a dagger piercing Ren Yi’s heart. He couldn’t bear to endure more. He wished that everything happening now was just a nightmare, so at least he could delude himself into staying by Gong Yingxian’s side as a friend.lyhGjWQZfSsUGElqzCmBctkDEjepIh
HHwUyanJHyGIdsI“Is it or isn’t it?!” Gong Yingxian roared.tSGyTRHDBJrgPvYlKYfttnmdWRGAEf
QmTlGAyjYEMsPCjHe wanted Ren Yi to deny it. Even though he had seen it with his own eyes, he still hoped Ren Yi would deny it. If he denied it… maybe…zeuffCByrvymQocccJZjbqlDvcYGXZ
nzEgNIcXoXNDBkRBut Ren Yi’s silence, in his eyes, was confirmation.BCkicYdLBEHRNrIaMezYfoPdApqTyq
RYDQlmSahdBbpICGong Yingxian viciously grabbed Ren Yi’s collar. His tall frame cast a shadow over Ren Yi, his voice hoarse as he growled, “And what about me? You’re gay, you have a boyfriend, so what about me? You’ve hidden this from me for so long, what am I to you?”ebPmjBCdPjRiZVgNAZkGCdLxuledIp
xDBgibVptbLNmtqRen Yi averted his eyes from Gong Yingxian, his heart writhing in pain. He spoke in a low voice, “I hid it from you because… you wouldn’t accept it. But I never… never had any disrespectful thoughts toward you. I’ve only ever seen you as a friend.” His voice trembled by the end, barely suppressing the urge to cry.jQwkbzBIdcyEKHBAFQPTgbUsNxSmcM
bncJUkPtOeWsZUUIt had come to this—his feelings teetering on the edge, so close to spilling out. Yet he still had to lie and say he didn’t love the person he loved. He never knew that telling a lie could feel like betraying himself, like his mind was stabbing his own heart.WJFJMsfEjZrGwGCsfhlbcUlLXdwNJT
VjPPRZzQPvxLQsiAnd every stab bled.McpOLFfxDoWSpgbgPVQnCugYzINIta
eNNzWCKbPbpnGIyGong Yingxian stared blankly at Ren Yi’s pale face, and once his mind fully processed and deciphered the words, his eyes turned bloodshot. The hand gripping Ren Yi’s collar made a creaking sound from how tightly he clenched it, as if he were grasping Ren Yi’s throat instead. He growled through gritted teeth, “You never had any feelings for me?”JGGSGLoeAKiOsRLsPineMaIEbkMfuu
mdcliknBkRqwPjz“…”MjjxwMDOoXvaNoyDpUQFBXlblXNpJt
VaBavWWMCawxsLs“When you came to my house, when we ate together, when we were trapped under the rubble, during your stay in the hospital—over these past few months, you hid your orientation while being close to me, and you never had any feelings for me? Never, ever?”MWqrnGOSUmRFFfiqHrwiFvdCESQtRq
hQbEkhrsNldmbylRen Yi’s lips trembled. He felt like he was being executed, and Gong Yingxian’s gaze, along with every word he uttered, were like blades flaying him alive.RysnzsZXyBXflYribYBsgqJRuWuZXN
XNMSKVXlgmHDKUkGong Yingxian’s large hand clamped down on Ren Yi’s jaw, forcing him to lift his face and meet his eyes. “Look me in the eyes and say it.”ayxlALtBiBSfQUVBnwaSTToOiPXTzu
wYwxwKKSeCOhMbRRen Yi was finally forced to stare directly into Gong Yingxian’s eyes. Those deep, beautiful pupils, which once held joy, care, trust, and tenderness because of him, now carried none of that. The thing he feared most had happened—Gong Yingxian, now knowing the truth, only had coldness, fury, and hatred in his gaze.PzhqMKBovNevyRXIMLmkkVIwJehZos
JSJOzKXXqcYaCCxRen Yi, suppressing immense grief, desperately hoped to salvage something. As long as Gong Yingxian didn’t look at him with such an expression, he was willing to betray himself, willing to compromise in every way possible. So, with the last shred of composure, he forced a cracking mask over his breaking emotions and firmly said, “No. Yingxian, I know what happened to you in your youth, I understand you, but I’m not like the kind of person you’re thinking of. I wouldn’t harass anyone, commit crimes, or… I didn’t want you to judge me or feel uncomfortable, so I hid it from you. I’ve only ever seen you as a friend and wanted to stay your friend. I never had any… inappropriate thoughts.”JYNYHHlbubRKFVGaWJktxUBeNnMLmO
frdyWUdskMJHCHRAfter saying all this, Ren Yi felt like his heart had been hollowed out.UcZTZovJcrNmgsiGrnaEJAFSAmvYRH
CCGKYiqRLhMCQCuLoving someone was supposed to be a beautiful thing, but it was he who had turned love into something shameful, something unspeakable.UtGXLDCDimGfiUyBIXoAShQnLuDghz
IYPGlvWNCBQiVJnBut he had no choice. Today, he had fully awakened—he would no longer daydream about any possibility between him and Gong Yingxian. At the very least, he wanted to protect Gong Yingxian, protect their shared memories. He wanted to prove that there could be pure friendship in this world, and that the beautiful moments they shared weren’t a repeat of Gong Yingxian’s “disgusting” experiences from the past.HsapRxJdHcusUEzrIymWzpPoOkQjso
XEWrejleydyfRbkBut these words only made Gong Yingxian more furious, more consumed by hatred. His rage was so intense he felt the urge to devour Ren Yi, to stop him from ever speaking again or doing things he didn’t want to see, to stop Ren Yi from telling him that everything they’d been through meant nothing, that it was all devoid of any meaning.hPxwFSMauvqSvLrCSjvaaBdlzOftAe
VsUSYTpEAFdMgEhLeaning close to Ren Yi’s ear, Gong Yingxian whispered, “Do you take me for an idiot?”IgfFGgdvqfAidKruTFwDtimPUCxfRh
gHesQKRscgqAWbwA chill shot down Ren Yi’s spine.cwomLEAfBriGtzbLjCPHaxsekSTpTV
IejNtSGbcDrBtbO“I may not fully understand the social norms of interpersonal relationships, but I’m not stupid,” Gong Yingxian’s voice dripped with the bitterness of betrayal, “You’ve had a boyfriend this whole time, so what were you thinking when you called me ‘Old Gong’? What were you thinking when you got hard because of me? What were you thinking when we shared a bed? When he wasn’t around, was I just your entertainment? Did you feel proud watching me act like an idiot while you played me?”WUDYKofAcUFqemSNMmxbNyhauUzKRu
RGrrELBWOGSRyMiRen Yi’s eyes widened in horror. “No! No!” he shouted, his voice filled with desperation. How could Gong Yingxian see him as this kind of person?QaiPhcagtzJefyXRIzjbyMfdoeAPhb
CqkfljgXBrYoAEu“You disgust me too.” Gong Yingxian spat the cruelest, most venomous words into Ren Yi’s ear. Whether it was impulsive or simply for the satisfaction of lashing out, at that moment, the instinct for survival made him want to use any means necessary to stop the unbearable pain gnawing at his heart.gemKZDqdtQPwkpEYfMieRzEwKLZfax
UeuuEbyZZaNaGwpHe hated Ren Yi. He hated that Ren Yi belonged to someone else. He hated that Ren Yi had driven him, a police officer, to the point of wanting to imprison him, to make Ren Yi solely his.xyeeUxkmMERVSSsfaAXEmwBchKUYVz
ejlCaoKIxWQfXzYThe light in Ren Yi’s eyes dimmed. It was as if his soul had been drained from his body. Those words had nearly pushed him into the abyss of hell.wyPCznofoVKLHWVBIktBvXWdjqRfhN
ohMbwAMvrMghtDAGong Yingxian found him disgusting. The person he loved most found him disgusting.wWFYcJGpTjeEoKqrFWDLpkfcuGyKNn
KoKxVnrbJTtYSvzGong Yingxian let go of Ren Yi. If he stayed any longer, if he kept looking at Ren Yi, he feared he would do something irreparable. Without looking back, he walked away, his posture no longer as straight as usual, his shoulders weighed down by an invisible burden.FkqKISyTwblPONjSOUUgjqhoscyZnD
IkhbpeCWyYbwaYMRen Yi raised a hand to cover his eyes, but the tears slipped through his fingers uncontrollably.nCLdNFezHUKmGEywaGsBKxCWqTgLUV
XDrrxWMmPseEejQIn truth, he should’ve seen this coming. It was his own delusion, his arrogance. Gong Yingxian had only ever seen him as a friend, but he had wanted more, and now he was paying the price. Not only had he hurt himself, but he had hurt Gong Yingxian as well.DvbvlOxoxApkNophhpbPqFnKjhqFLe
TMORkqhRuxZbnHEHe had caused Gong Yingxian to lose his only close friend, had forced him to relive painful memories he wished to forget. Gong Yingxian had already carried so much suffering, and now Ren Yi had only added to it.HMNmMrgMVeIJQDWiwcSFcQwfgxggXM
BQDkqQJJNKuOzLkHe had hurt the one person he wanted to protect with all his heart. He was a selfish, useless bastard.STuCJccFHqvKWmzJDcADDfTZaejBqR
rJTIzVcYJayrzXVSuddenly, Ren Yi’s radio crackled to life in his pocket: “Captain Ren, something’s happened, come to the monitoring room now!”EZjMMqKdiiDdnGcWQeDpQoAbyQWrpe
BcSnLbgqdksSHabRen Yi struggled to gather his strength, wiped his face, pressed the radio button, and replied in a deep voice, “On my way.”FNWhfjUjowxjvfhUqZSAqgLmkeSscB
IFvgPMQNhplwCammAkoZbRgVzxiicGaSJXBwoaAFqmapd